Ishaqzaade

People who stand by their love. According to the director Habib Faisal, that's what Ishaqzaade literally means. The movie is not merely a love story. It is the story of ego, incest, greed, and power. Qualities that can make or break relationships, families and even mighty empires.

 Set in the rustic backdrop of a fictional small town in UP, Ishaqzaade narrates the story of Parma (Arjun Kapoor, simply superb. No one could have played this role better than him), a rough-tongued, gun toting, egoistic and brash-to-the-extent-of-crazy Rajput youth, who detests Zoya (Parineeti Chopra), the fiery, ambitious daughter of the local MLA, who also happens to be a Muslim. They match wits, they wait for each other to fall, they play dirty, they insult each other and oh, they also fall for each other. What happens then?

The movie is a comment on the sorry state of affairs, and the opposition faced by two young people whose only sin is that they dared to fall in love with someone belonging to a different religion or caste. It also speaks about the dirty tactics employed by political rivals to grab power, come what may, and the ambitions of the youth in small town India, who are willing to do anything to fulfill their dreams.

With unexpected twists and turns, it keeps you on the edge of your seat, with bated breath throughout. Watch it for the plot, the fabulous performances, the witty dialogues and the dark humour. You won't regret it.

Housefull 2 - ** 1/2

Not really in a mood to write a proper-proper review. Just leaving with an opinion.


Much better than the prequel *shudder*, and way funnier. Full of PJs, still enjoyable. Babes in bikinis, funny moments, a comedy of errors, confusion, madcap comedy, superb acting, no plot to speak of, and a full-on paisa vasool entertainer.

 Asin - Good as always. *Aeeeh*
 Akshay Kumar - can't even expect anything from him.
 Jacqueline Fernandez - *yuck* (Casting couch, duh!)
 John Abraham - So-so.
 Riteish Deshmukh - Good. Really good.
 Zarine Khan - Why you no lose weight?
 Kapoor brothers - Guaranteed to make you ROFL
 Shreyas Talpade - Okayish. Too overboard with the Sindhi thing, though.
 Shazahn Padamsee - Kab gayi, kab aayi, pata hi nahi chala!
 Mithun Chakraborty - AMAZING. Easily the best performer in the movie. Veteran hai, after all!
 Boman Irani - Perfact, as the Gujju Patel! Loved him.
 Malaika Arora Khan - Fuck, she makes me want to be a lesbian! ;)

Rockstar

I watched this movie rather late. Turns out, I became like someone I always despised - someone who made decisions based on someone else's opinions without experiencing it for myself. Most people I met, and on my Facebook timeline clearly did not like it, as did my best friend. I decided to watch it and make the decision for myself.


Have you ever wondered what happens to the love stories which fall outside the socially normative spectrum? Some stories which are not really accepted by the narrow-minded society of ours, some stories that are just not meant to be, no matter what happens? I have. Do they pine all their lives for their loved ones, or do they find closure, or do they fall in love with someone else? If you have, Rockstar will answer your questions to some extent.

  The story begins with an angry Jordan, performing on stage, and reminiscing about his love story, the one that could have been. Janardhan Jakhar, a simpleton from Delhi, is extremely passionate about music, but is habitually mocked, until the canteen owner Khatana explains that to create true, soul-stirring music, one has to experience a heartbreak. Our man, exhibiting bravado, proposes to 'heart-break machine' Heer (Nargis Fakhri, pretty but extremely disappointing), an elite Stephenian, who rejects him, but nevertheless they become good friends.

 The story then shifts to Heer's wedding in Kashmir, where she develops feelings for Janardhan and affectionately nick-names him Jordan, but does not express it. On returning to Delhi, Jordan is thrown out of his home, and spends two months at the local dargah, where he is discovered by the renowned classical shehnai player Ustad Jameel Khan (Shammi Kapoor) and achieves moderate success as a singer.

 Jordan then visits Prague for a music festival, but mostly to meet Heer, who is suffering from bone marrow aphasia, and falls in love with her, who refuses to reciprocate his feelings, but finds herself drawn to him, and they share intimate moments together. This juncture in their relationship is rather strange - she is attracted and repelled by him. The conflict in her head is understandable though, she is a married woman, and it would shame her to cheat on her husband even though she is attracted to Jordan.

 Jordan, in an attempt to bid a last goodbye to Heer despite her warning him not to, is arrested for trespassing and receives negative media attention, which frustrates him.

 Do not go looking for a conventional love story. You will be disappointed. Instead, soak in the beautiful cinematography that spreads itself across Prague, Delhi and Kashmir, Ranbir Kapoor's performance, and take in all that the movie has to offer. I think the ending was perfect, although it disappointed many. Personally, I would be disappointed if the movie had a typical ending - with Heer running to the stage to engulf Jordan in a massive hug and then they go on to have triplets and so on. The ending was beautiful - and it wasn't abrupt. The reason, according to me, is that there was simply no more to be said! The movie is all about Jordan - his pain, his frustration, his love, his passion - and once the viewer experiences it, there's nothing more left.

 The movie stays with you long after you watch it. Personally, I think the movie caters only to a select audience - the ones who can appreciate a well-made movie, devoid of the typical dancing-around-trees drama and tear-jerkers. It is for people who can understand those who have loved so badly that it utterly destroyed them, for those who can feel the angst, the passion of the hero.

 As they say in typical film reviews - it is for the classes, and not the masses!

Gross injustice

The real bad thing about having two blogs is that one always receives step-motherly treatment. I had started two blogs in the hope that I would manage to keep my movie reviews and my day-to-day rantings separate. But, as my laziness is infamous, the other blog has more than a hundred posts, while this poor little one has less than half of it. Unjust, considering the number of movies I watch.

 Lately, I haven't found the patience or inclination to sit through a whole movie. Strange, but true. I prefer catching up on new sitcoms and TV shows instead. The thing is, I am not able to find the right kind of movie to watch. Hello, the last movie I recorded was The Da Vinci Code, and I managed to get through some twenty minutes or so. A flagrant departure from the times I used to watch full movies on Youtube, painfully waiting for the videos to buffer.

I have managed to watch some one or two interesting movies though, in Hindi - shall blog about them!

Ra.One (doesn't deserve a single star)

This blog post is almost a month late, but nevertheless. Not a proper review-review, but more like an opinion on the movie.

What is wrong with Shah Rukh Khan? Really, what is it that caused him to go ballistic enough to shove his latest film down our throats? For atleast a month before Ra.One released, all you could see on your TV, read in your daily newspaper, hear of the radio, taste in your Horlicks and smell in the air was Ra.One. Ra.One and more Ra.One. An assault on the senses, quite literally. If only, IF only dear SRK had spent ONE-TENTH of the publicity time on improving the storyline. IF. ONLY.

The first grouse I have with the movie is about the portrayal of South Indians. Oh, believe me, South Indians do NOT eat curd with noodles. No, we do NOT do power yoga. And god save me, we do NOT, do NOT say 'aiyyo' all the time! And it is quite amazing that a Dilliwala superstar (SRK), Bihari director (Anubhav Sinha) and a two North Indian scriptwriters (Kanika Dhillon and Mushtaq Sheikh) put all of their genius heads together and wrote a bunch of spit-in-your-face lame ass Southie jokes and etched a stupid stereotypical character who searches for his 'kiss' in a blonde's cleavage. That too in a kiddie movie. The only thing that stopped me from screaming out loud and stabbing myself in the chest was the curiosity to find out how lower Hindi cinema can get.

The plot is the fucking dumbest I've ever heard of. Even Popcorn Khao Mast Ho Jao was a better watch. Super-smartie-Southie-dad develops a badass villian in his new video game to impress his son who doesn't even bother to talk to him properly. Ironically, this badass villian kills him in a quest to find the son. The super-dumb mother and son then drive their car recklessly all around London trying to escape from him (Duh, woman, don't you know? He has superpowers for Chrissakes!). The villian is just about to catch them when enter G.ONE, with his goody-goodness radiating out of his ass and saves the hysterical mother-son duo. Shit-scared, the mother wants to go back to India and takes the robotic hero back with her, replete with piercings on all parts of his body, even objectionable ones. In India, they shed 'water+NaCl', dance to Akon at Karva Chauth in South India (globalisation, here come thou!) and indulge in all sorts of antics in varying degrees of idiocies.

And don't even get me talking about the climax. I will puke right then and there on the irritating non-father-respecting kid's long hair. (What's with the hairstyle man?)

Don't get me wrong, I am SRK's biggest fan ever. I have been in love with him for 15 long years (I'm 17 now). I've loved every one of his movies till date and my ideal man is Raj Malhotra of DDLJ. His dimples make me weak-kneed and whenever he spreads his arms I want to bury myself in them. But what SRK missed out (in his own quest to become every Indian kid's superhero) was, quoting Spidey's uncle Ben, 'With great power, comes great responsibility.'

Now, SRK, you are India's biggest superstar. With that tag, we expect some level of responsibility from you. We truly loved your effort in revamping sci-fi in India and taking it to new levels. You could have worked at making it more bearable.

Nevertheless, we are willing to forgive this debacle of yours. Do better, sweetheart. We expect more from you.

P.S. An even better review

Delhi Belly *** 1/2

Indian cinema has finally come of age. And the average Indian viewer is ever so grateful to the Censor Board, who is gracious enough to acknowledge that he/she is mature enough to watch films peppered with swear words and sexual references and enjoy them too. By definition, Delhi Belly is a traveller's diarrhea, usually caused by street food (read: contaminated). And this is very disease and its after effects forms the crux of the aptly titled film.

The film opens with three flatmates Tashi (Imran Khan; unimpressive), Arup (Vir Das; awesome. Watch out for his voice) and Nitin (Kunaal Roy Kapur; best of the lot), who live in a dingy Delhi flat with no water, or for that matter, peace of mind. Tashi is confused - he is due to get married in a month and still doesn't know whether his girlfriend (Shenaz Treasury) is the one. Arup is frustrated with life - his girlfriend has dumped him and his boss' idea of creativity is making him sketch a smiling banana, while Nitin, after wolfing down chicken from a street vendor, battles a bad case of the Delhi Belly. Oh, and in case life wasn't bad enough, they now have a gangster behind their blood, and must find a way to get out of all this mess. Yes, baby, shit happens.

The movie is funny, fast-paced, short, unpretentious, and manages to keep you captivated till the very end. Certain scenes/dialogues simply leave their mark, like the one in which Nitin comments about Tashi's new car (When a donkey screws a rickshaw, this is what you get) or the one in which Arup, tries to cover the CCTV screen from the policeman (in a burqa!). Newcomer Poorna Jagannathan is simply amazing, and Shenaz Treasury chips in well too. Overall, a must watch movie! DO. NOT. MISS. IT.

Rio ****

I absolutely love, love, love animated movies. Although I am still a kid at heart, such movies make me feel like I am eight again, at the grand old age of sixteen. I know, teenagers are supposed to scoff at kiddie movies, but y'know, still a kid, always a kid. Anyhow, I promised The Brat that I would take her to watch Rio, and the three of us (Mommy included) went to watch the movie.

It is a cute film, about a witty little birdie called Blu (a Blue Macaw, voiced superbly by Jesse Eisenberg), raised by a girl Linda since she was ten. They both are safely encased in Minnesota, in perfectly blissful lives until Linda is informed that Blu is the last surviving Blue Macaw on this earth, and must be taken to Rio De Janeiro to allow him to mate with the last female member of the species.

Despite protests from Blu, Linda convinces him that they should be doing this in order to allow his species to survive. In the process, Blu meets Jewel (Anne Hathaway), a fiercely independent bird, who scorns his inability to fly, and the fact that he likes being a pet. While they are left alone to mate, and the geeky scientist dude and Linda go out for a date, evil bird Nigel and his master kidnap both the birds and chain them.

In a series of hilarious sequences (now I understand why the movie was made in 3D - only 3D could do justice to those sequences!), Blu and Jewel manage to escape, and land in a jungle, from where Jewel wants to fly away and Blu wants to go back to Linda. They have to battle gyrating monkeys, pecky woodpeckers, evil birds, and equally evil humans. Can they make it?

On the whole, it is a must watch for both, adults and kids.